Love Doesn’t Have to Be Complicated: 3 Ways to Simplify It
Love is unfair, really. It dresses itself up as all-consuming joy, feeling free and full of limitless possibilities. And that's great—until it's not.
The thing is, when you first meet someone, you wear a mask, you play pretend—whether you realise it or not. You’re not really you; you’re the best version of yourself. You’re funnier, more active, more charming. You’re afraid to show the real you in case that’s not enough. But it’s for short term gain. Newsflash: that’s why it’s called the novelty period, and we start to see people for who they really are. Most of the time, that’s a gradual reveal—though with complete psychos, it takes a little longer.
And that’s where love gets unfair. The gloves come off, and suddenly, we’re grappling with the reality of who we truly are and who this person we might be falling in love with really is. The insecurities, the habits, the nights becoming routine, the little annoyances. Do we stay or do we go? Are we head over heels, or are we secretly eyeing the exit?
But here’s the thing—love doesn’t have to be complicated. We make it complicated. So, let’s simplify love. Here’s how…
Photo by: @jeztimms
1. Understand the Five Love Languages
Dr. Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages is a game-changer when it comes to relationships. We all give and receive love in different ways, and understanding how you and your partner express affection can make your life a whole lot easier.
The five love languages are:
Words of Affirmation – Love is verbal: compliments, appreciation, and encouragement.
Acts of Service – Love is action: doing things for your partner that make their life easier.
Receiving Gifts – Love is thoughtfulness: meaningful presents that show you were thinking of them.
Quality Time – Love is undivided attention: no phones, no distractions, just time together.
Physical Touch – Love is connection: hugs, kisses, holding hands, and intimacy.
If you know your love language and your partner’s, you stop speaking different languages and start communicating in a way that actually resonates.
Less frustration, more connection. Simple.
2. Use the Formula: Fact + Feeling = Outcome
Communication in relationships doesn’t have to be an emotional landmine. There’s a simple way to express your needs without accusations or drama. Here’s how it works:
Fact: State what’s happening. No exaggerations, no blame.
Feeling: Express how it makes you feel.
Outcome: Ask for what you need.
Example:
“You leave wet towels on the bed. It annoys me because it makes the sheets smell damp. Please don’t do that anymore.”
“We haven’t had sex for a while. It makes me feel like you don’t desire me anymore. Can we talk about it?”
“You make me tea every morning, and I love it. Please don’t stop.”
See? No passive-aggressiveness, no resentment-building silence—just clear, honest communication.
3. Go All In
Love is not a waiting game. Sitting on the sidelines, waiting for the right moment to move in, commit, or express how you feel? Stop. Love rewards action. If you’re in, be all in.
Going all in does two things:
If it’s right, you’ll deepen the relationship faster.
If it’s wrong, you’ll find out sooner and move on without wasting months or years of your life.
Holding back out of fear keeps you stuck in limbo, and no one wants to live there. Love isn’t about dipping a toe in the water—it’s about diving in. Fall hard or fail fast. Either way, you move forward.
At the end of the day, love is about two people being really honest with each other, setting boundaries, showing mutual respect, having safe, mutually gratifying sex, and striving toward a common goal—all while having fun.
It doesn’t have to be complicated. Does it?